You have no lack of confidence.

So I'm sort of kind of infatuated with Danielle Barbanera.

I'm happy to be here.

I mean, it's five o clock and i'm lying in bed IMing with Tasha, (who is, of course, in class) ignoring my Christopher Columbus paper for italian, singing along to Cartel with Sam, planning my birthday outing to Fright Fest with Alex, and reading my old livejournal entries.

you know, for a lunatic, i'm pretty happy here. really.

(((brief collegiate interlude...diologue from the suite, installment one===
"It's definitely fall, I'm starting to get dandruff."
...
"God, Kelly, I am so turned on right now."))))


I went home this weekend. Home is weird now...everything is slow. The urgency is absent...it's like, "Okay, I'm in Rockland. no rush. i don't have to do anything here anymore." I've been feeling steadily less distant from not only people here but from kim, anthony, sarah and jill. they're just miles, even if there are a lot of them between us, and what are miles in the face of what really matters?

I can't believe I'm gonna be eighteen fucking years old.

I'm doing terribly lately. something is going to have to give.

Awesomeeee.

hey, guess what?

I just wanted to tell you that my life is fun (quite probably more fun than yours) and that I'm pretty fucking happy. And I'll stay that way at least until third period statistics.

I never promised you consistency.


Things are good. School is good. You are wonderful.<3

Feel that way.


I'm a senior. christ.

I can't imagine better weather.

about sixty-five degrees, colder in my room with the fan on. I wake up every hour or so, pull my fuzzy green blanket a little closer to my body and curl back up, utterly content and impervious to the rest of the world.

perfect.






school tomorrow. bring that shit on.

hi, I'm meaghan.


I just woke up after a "nap" that lasted longer than my average night's sleep. my hair is as jungle-woman as it gets and i'm rather enjoying it. it's grey outside and i feel like i've wasted the day away and I have that sort of listless, empty non-feeling that you can only get when it's grey outside and you feel like you've wasted the day away. (i guarantee you know what i mean.) it's not sad--ohohno, i can't do that anymore--but it is a little unnerving.

today started at six a.m., ended at ten a.m. and containted a few of my favorite stories and a few of my favorite people and a lot of goddamned kicking. this is where i'm supposed to say i've had it with these childish theatrics, but, really, bring them on, princess. I'm loving every second because i know that even if you win, i'll win. i can take this with a smile and it will just infuriate you more. don't worry, though: i promise to spell your name right on your goodbye card.

last night was the kfc and the shawshank redemption. get busy living or get busy dying, you know? Well, yeah, actually, I do know. I really, really do.

uh-oh, storyteller's slacking. i guess i'm feeling cryptic. blame it on the weather.




...i should have insisted.

Long time no update.

an open letter to 'ebonysingles.com' and their spam mail.

Dear sir or madam,

Today, I received an e-mail from your establishment inviting me to 'Find black love today'. Now, I certainly appreciate your offer, and I mean absolutely no disrespect, but I am a sixteen-year-old white girl. I am not particularly interested in cultivating an interracial romance, nor would I care to be featured on your website as an eligible woman. While I certainly appreciate that you are, apparently, trying to further social equality by reaching out to the crakkar community, I am probably a less than ideal candidate.

Respectfully,
Meaghan

yeahyeahyeah, that's what's up....today I saw Snakes on a Plane for the second time(this time I forcibly dragged lizzo to it.) It was just as good this time around. =]

tomorrow at seven are swimming physicals, and doubles practices begin monday. I guess that should mean that summer's ending, but I feel like something's just beginning.

ohgod it was such a good day.

now, if you'll excuse me, I can die happy.

=]

sigh. <3

Facts: Today, Bobby and I had a Gilmore Girls-athon. We watched like five consecutive episodes. None of my damn clothes fit anymore. My bedroom floor is covered in confetti. I have someone else's soap. Today, a fourteen-year-old boy accidentally threw a dead frog down my shirt, and three dozen other fourteen-year-old boys watched me try to find it and get it out...I'm not as embarassed as you would expect. I almost asked today, but there was someone on the extension. I thought wrong. Talladega Nights was funny.

Sometimes I get so tired I think I could die but I just can't make myself sleep.

Today was a pretty awesome day. My dearest darling beloved STACEY and I had insane adventures. We like coldstone, but not creepy zoos, and we mean fucking pokemon, not fucking pokemon. Gas station employees think we are beautiful, and little girls only like us for our fries. We don't usually know where we are going. Justin had a cameo, and then we drove past again. It was a fantastic day, soon to be followed by fantastic tomorrow, with the addition of lizzo and will ferrel.

and, I read the novelization of Snakes on a Plane. Spoiler alert----

THERE ARE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON THAT MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!

=]

Everyone tells me that they're crazy. Crazy people aren't so fucking boring.

i've had dairy queen twice today. =]

( Schedule, for whoever cares. )

I'm beachy and exhausted and I miss my friends and my kids. I wish I wasn't missing work. I'm suntanned as fuck and all I wanna do is boogie board some more, or possibly watch the daily show. it's been a pretty good vacation.

what's your favorite rap song? come on, I know you have one.

so, who's on xbox live? I finally got around to registering and have precisely three friends. =[

today was fantastic, insane and certainly an adventure. Two girls, two states, a gas station, a parking lot, and ice cream, followed by wayne day, frozen yogurt, a circle, and my NEW BEST FRIEND the guy in the next car. (weird)

I am very, very tired. Impressively so.

so I was myspacing a while ago, because I"m obviously that cool, and I saw this kid's page that was like, a blue & grey background with grey text. it was completely illegible and I just have to wonder, who the fuck looks at their complete disaster of a profile and thinks, oh, yeah, that looks good? Honestly.

oh, and, you know, bitchcakes.

myspace bulletin, put here because I wanted to update but din't have anything to say.

So I just got the National Honor Roll book---highly prestigious, obviously--and all I can think is, Holy fuck, these read like personal ads. So, anyway, after what has obviously been days of careful comparison, here is my confession of love to Alex Hart from Westborough, Massachusetts:



Hey, sexy.

So, I saw you in the Honor Roll book, and you seem amazing. I mean, your photo---Wow! God, that is a 1-inch-by-a-half-inch square of pure sex appeal. (well, what I could see of it, anyway.) Oh, and perfect attendance? That is so hot. All that, AND you're the treasurer of your anatomy club? Well, baby, maybe you and I could do an overnight at Brown and brush up on the basics.


xoxoxo
Meaghan (Hnr Roll, Nat Hon Sy, Coo Volntr, etc.)




=]

I love my friends. =]

I spent today with a few lovely creatures and I feel really, really good. (Hey, emily? we're back to hospital bed things. both wonderful and irritating.) I wish I could spend the entire summer jumping from friend's house to friend's house to work and back. Even if we have to throw some family parties in there. The Halo games, italian ices and all the hysterical giggling outweigh all the family gatherings in the whole world.

So, yes, I love you stupid fuckfaces. You know who you are. <333


anyway, my hair came out fantastically. =D As in, it's straight and shiny and soft and other words that start with 's' and indicate a success. I'm really, really happy, even if my immediate family insist that I now look like lizzo. (wtf?) I'll take photos soon, I guess.


I'm almost excited about the way things are apparently going. (apparentlyapparentlyapparently. don't forget that word.)

well, well.

work is really, really, disturbingly satisfying. Like, I come home tired and pleased and really thinking about what I've been doing. (oh, and sunburned, usually.) This is how I want to come home from work when I'm older---feeling like what I did that day actually meant something. Like, if you let me, i could go on about camp forever: I could tell stories about particular lessons, or talk about specific campers---sweet Andrew or shy Emma or crazyyyy James or any number of the sixty, maybe seventy? kids that I know personally. It's actually incredibly unfamiliar to be so enthused by what I'm doing with myself. (Oh, no! God forbid I lose my disaffected attitude.)

And, so, tomorrow, I'm getting Japanese straightening done on my hair---as in, perfectly straight hair, right out of the shower, no effort added. I love it. I'm so excited and I will probably parade into your house sometime tomorrow and show it off. (Take that, Sarah Dubicki and other owners of naturally straight hair!)

And, due to popular demand: I got dinner with Emily today, was confronted by the waitress from HELL, debated the pronunciation of 'chivalry', mocked Delia's, and mutilated magnets. A good time was had by all.



Besides, we all are making money and we're all fucking alone.

Dear Debit Card-Using Woman on Line in Front of Me In Stop&Shop,

7777 is not a secret code. Especially not when I'm standing right behind you.

And, your tatoos are ugly.


Love,
Meaghan

So this random person IMed me, and, true to form, I decided to mess with his stupid little head. xvivacity is me, hssuperman004 is him, and unspokentragedy0 is caity, who got the play-by play. Sadly, AIM shut down and I lost the beginning of the conversation, which was the funniest part, but I recapped it for Cait.

( we were kids back then, as if we could progress. )

xposted as a myspace bulletin.

~*~*~*~*lol guyz much luv stay bewtiful! luv kayley.~*~*~*~*~